The Eba I lost

My mommy does something that used to really annoy me when I was much younger.

Daddy hates wastage, he can’t stand it so whenever we cook we always try to cook what we can finish just to avoid getting on daddy’s nerves.

When an unexpected visitor comes to the house to pay a quick visit, mommy will just call from the sitting. She’ll say something like “Sesede, bu ounje wa fa lagbaja ko jeun” (Sesede dish out food for the visitor). I really used to dread those calls, It gets me angry.

Even when we’re cooking the last cup of rice in the house and an unexpected visitor arrives, mommy will still insist that we dish food for the visitor.

As a little girl, it bothered me so much. The visitor was not part of the ‘food budget’, why does my mommy like to ‘shorten our ration’?

She did it so much that at a point I got fed up and I’ll give the visitor Mommy’s portion (that was mean and childish) just to teach mommy that our house is not ‘restaurant’ where you can get food without prior notice.

There was one incident that really got to me, I made a pot of chicken stew a night before but somehow I did not eat out of the soup that night, I reserved my portion for the next day as breakfast.

In the morning I work up hungry, I endured the hunger did my house chores and later made Eba. I left the soup and Eba in the kitchen to bath before eating, that was my mistake.

While bathing, a visitor came to see mommy and she carried my Eba and soup to entertain the visitor.

Now I’m older and giving is gradually becoming a way of life for me, I’m beginning to understand why mommy always insists on Sharing the little she has with people.

That seed she has been sowing and still sowing has been working for her. You really don’t have to wait till you’re a millionaire before you give, share the little you have until the bigger package comes.

When the bigger package arrives, giving will already be embedded in your DNA so much that giving out millions won’t be a big deal.

The more you give, the more you get but then intention matters a lot where giving is concerned.

The ‘why’ of giving is important, are you giving because you want you want to get noticed? There’s something called ‘Isè arì mì’ in yoruba, this can be roughly translated to ‘notice me’.

The ‘notice me’ syndrome has become a norm especially in our society these days. Everyone wants to outshine the other where giving is concerned.

We now live in a world where some of us have turned giving into a competition.
Giving has now become a photo op event. It’s not strange to see someone donating one carton of milk to an orphanage home with an entourage of cameras (ok, maybe I’m exaggerating now) but I’m sure some of us has come across these things frequently especially on social media.

Yes, we can take pictures maybe for accountability purposes especially in the case where the funds came from other sources but at the same time we should please stop making giving a social event.

Well, maybe if you’re a politician or an aspiring politician you can turn giving into an event with a lot of pomp/pegantry.

It’s the main marketing tool for our politicians in this part of the world. Most politicians will give you one bowl of Jollof rice and you’re expected to take pictures while receiving the jollof rice.

Giving should not be a tool to promote your selfish ambition, giving should not be used as an ego inflating tool either. Giving is something you do for humanity sake.

If you’re also a receiver, receive without any sense of entitlement. There has been a screenshot flying around social media ( it may or may not be real though) of a single woman with a child who was sent 10k by someone she has never met and instead of saying ‘thank you’, she went on and on about how the 10k sent to her was too small.

Don’t be ungrateful, don’t feel what you’re given is too small. It may look small to you but you can never tell what it cost the giver. Don’t make people regret the selfless act of giving.

To those who give with the purpose of helping someone in need, don’t give up even when people seem not to appreciate what you do. Heaven and the universe is watching, keep giving and selflessly too.

You may not have money or material things to give away yet and you may start feeling guilty. Money or material things are not the only things worth giving.

That beautiful and contagious smile of yours is a gift worth giving, your ability to make people happy when they are sad is also a gift you can give those who you come across and the world at large.

Your creativity is a gift you can share with the world too, use them to make the world a better place.
Your ability to give people sound counselling is a gift you can give and freely too. I’m a strong believer in giving and i believe you can never give too much or too little. See you at the giving side of life beautiful souls.