When I was about five years going on six, anger almost cost me my left leg; anger almost put me on a wheelchair for the rest of my life.
At age six I was angry because I lost a ‘musical chair’ competition to my cousin. I sat down on the last chair first and my cousin pushed me out of the chair and was declared the winner.
I got really angry because I felt I deserved to win not my cousin, when it was time to go home after the birthday party, I was walking ahead of my siblings because I was still mad at my cousin. I was about crossing the road all by myself and unfortunately I was hit by a Peugeot 504.
My left leg got twisted, bones were broken and my right arm got broken too.
It was just by God’s mercy and grace I’m not on a wheelchair because initially, I lost feeling on my left leg. I was home for almost a year, I missed about two terms if not more. My left leg and right arm were in casts for months.
Anger is a nuisance, even king Solomon in Ecclesiastics 7:9 said, “Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools”.
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) knew that if a person controlled his/her anger he would be able to control everything else that is why the Prophet mentioned in an hadith:
“The powerful man is not the one who can wrestle, but the powerful man is the one who can control himself at the time of anger.” (Pulse.ng)
I am still learning how to channel my anger into something positive and I hope I become a pro at it real soon with God’s help. I’m not there yet, I’m still learning.
Guess what the winning prize was that year (1995), a Coca-Cola branded paper cup. Yes, that type that YBNL musicians are always using to shoot music video but it was not even as big or classy as the YBNL cup. I almost turned physically challenged. It’s funny now but the pains I went through was not funny.
The physiotherapy I had to go through so as to get back on my feet was rigorous. I don’t even want to think about the pains and the stress. I couldn’t go out to play for months, my siblings will go out to play while I have to be indoors because I couldn’t walk. Psychological, it was a though battle for my six years old self.
When people know you can barely control your anger, they’ll push your buttons deliberately till you self destruct especially if you’re in position of power.
Misplaced, misguided, uncontrolled and ill timed anger will not grow you. It will cost you pains and regrets. Bite your tongue when you’re angry instead of saying that hurtful sentence that will ruin your relationship/friendship.
Healthwise, uncontrolled anger can lead to the following:
- Digestion problems
- Heart attack
- It can cause your skin to break out, e.g. eczema
- Stroke, etc
Anger itself is not the problem, the real issue is not being able to control ourselves in our moment of anger.
Truth is we can’t control the things people do to us, the silly things they say or do to provoke us but we can learn to control our own reactions when these things happen.
We can choose healthy ways to express our anger by:
- Taking a walk, read, cook; just do something physical to cool off.
- Talk to someone you love and trust about how you feel.
- Try to avoid people or situations that makes your anger get out of control.
- Try to also analyse the situation to be sure you did not overreact and then try to map out plans/strategies to remedy the situation.
- Understand that it’s normal as humans to get angry, so don’t beat yourself too hard over your anger.
- When your anger seems to be getting the better of you or getting out of control, please walk away temporarily from such situations till you can focus and use your head properly.
Well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes.
On the other hand, anger is a powerful emotion and if it isn’t handled appropriately, it may have destructive results for you and those closest to you. (Better health channel).
If your anger makes you physically, emotionally and verbally abusive, I suggest you get help.
Counselling/therapy will go a long way to help out where this is concerned especially if you’re physically abusive due to anger.
It’s never too late to start working on your anger issues, I’m working on mine too and everything I’ve shared above are some of the ways I’ve been able to manage it so far.
Controlling your anger makes you a better person for you and your loved ones.